Selena's Journal

Stocking for Selly ^^

2006-12-13T03:11:46Z

@_@

Xmas Stocking

leave a gift for selena_aninikkou

get your stocking

Personality Test

2006-10-03T04:35:26Z

My Personality


Neuroticism	92
Extraversion	1
Openness To Experience	56
Agreeableness	77
Conscientiousness	34

Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report
Find your soulmate / pysch twin

Uggs, MySpace Surveys and MySpace Layouts by Pulseware Survey Software

I dunno why I decided to take it, but ah well. Man, the HTML in that entry is screwed @-@

technorati tags:personality, quizzes

Well, I Guess I Can Try Again...

2006-10-02T23:51:12Z

Yeah, once again I’m going to try and revive this stupid journal. I’d bet on it not working out, AGAIN, but whatever. It’s worth a try.

I haven’t worked on anything for months, but the good news is that NaNoWriMo is coming up, and it looks like my parents are going to buy me a laptop to work on school stuff. If so, I might be able to do better at it than I did last year. I hope not to quit out of the blue again...

technorati tags: laptop, livejournal, nanowrimo, personal

Another Wallpaper ^^

2006-07-29T08:12:18Z

Wow, it's been a long time since I was this active...

At any rate, I created a second wallpaper for the Freespire contest. You can view it here:

Freespire Lightning Circuit

technorati tags:wallpaper, contest, freespire, fun, projects, computing, desktop

Blogged with Flock

Entry For Freespire Contest

2006-07-28T07:10:51Z

They're holding a wallpaper contest at DeviantArt for a new wallpaper design for Freespire, so I decided to enter for the fun of it. You can see my entry here:

Freespire Under The Waves

technorati tags:wallpaper, contest, freespire, fun, projects, computing, desktop

Blogged with Flock

Events Of Today...

2006-07-28T00:45:59Z

Today I had to go and take a stress test, because I tend to have chest pains when I overexert myself, and my doctor wanted to make sure it was nothing. After running on the treadmill for a while, and getting my heart rate up, they told me the data was normal for a 23-year-old. So my heart is in good shape ^^

Not much else to report today, actually. Looking at some of the new RPG Maker resources makes me want to try designing again, but at the same time I still seem to be afraid of the last time I tried...

technorati tags:physical, health, exercise, doctor, rm2k, rpg making, resources, writing, storyline

Blogged with Flock

Pain...

2006-07-26T03:23:35Z

Why must I dream about the people who hurt me every night? Why do I always feel like crying to sleep because my heart hurts so much? Why must I continuously suffer the pain of the first 20 years of my life, over and over again?

I just want it to go away... I want to be able to do thins when I want, not when the pain lightens and I feel inspired...

technorati tags:depression, anger, pain, sadness, regrets, school, jerks, morons

Blogged with Flock

Stupid Windows! Stupid Explorer!

2006-07-25T02:57:05Z

Well, today has sucked rather badly. I wanted to make my younger brother a set of CD's, but my printer doesn't have any ink left to print out the labels. So I had to use my mother's computer with that hellspawned Windows XP on it...

I had to print 10 or so times before I finally got stuff aligned (I ended up having to do the alignment manually because the so-called official alignment was actually not aligned!)... and now I'm waiting to be able to print the last of the CD-related stuff because the jewel case inserts were also not aligned properly, sticking me with the duty of fixing that as well! And when I tried to get the software for doing jewel case inserts to install, Windows crashed every time! Arrrrghh >-<

technorati tags:windows, explorer, microsoft, cd, music, albums, jewel, cases, annoyances, frustration

Blogged with Flock

Some Ideas For A New Story... Maybe?

2006-07-24T03:27:07Z

Well, I feel sad and lonely (which is normal), but I have had some new storyline ideas. Odds are these'll end up in the same place as the other ones (in the junk pile)...

For some odd reason, Flock has issues with my home folder. Strange...

I sit here and wonder why I keep trying at things; after all, nothing ever seems to work out. Why keep going?

Well, TTFN...

technorati tags:depression, sadness, flock, internet, rpg making, rm2k, rm2k3, rmxp, writing, storyline, personal

Blogged with Flock

A Couple Of Things

2006-07-23T00:53:17Z

Okay, first of all, since I've been asked about it so many times, you can read about the Flock browser here: http://www.flock.com/.

In other news, I'm currently looking for icons that fit well with the default KDE icon theme, Crystal. Basically, any icon that can be considered crystal will work here. If anyone knows of good sites for that kind of thing, could you possibly throw me a link?

Oh, and if you like to read webcomics, I suggest checking out Slightly Damned. I've been enjoying it quite a bit since I started reading it last week ^^

Anyway, TTFN ^^

technorati tags:flock, webcomics, slightly damned, icons, kde, crystal, internet

Blogged with Flock

Switched To Flock, And New Desktop Theme

2006-07-22T00:09:14Z

Hey, guys! I've decided to try out using Flock in place of Firefox, to get at Flock's improved blogging, bookmarking and image-saving features! If anyone's interested, I can post my opinions as I use it (since I tend to be good at giving opinions on browsers). True, there are some Firefox extensions Flock can't use that I'll miss (goodbye, Menu Editor ;-;), but you never know until you try ^^

Also in the category of new things, I've decided to attach my Top 10 playlist from Last.fm to every entry I make in my LiveJournal. Note that the list will be updated as I play different songs. I imagine you can also see the new design I picked for my LJ, and the links section on the side, which links to some of my favourite Internet sites ^^

In other news, I'm trying to think of a good desktop theme for my computer. I'm getting somewhat tired of my Fedora theme, and I'd like to try and find an interesting theme to use instead. Anyone have any suggestions?

Well, TTFN ^^

Blogged with Flock

More Dumb Stuff About Me

2006-07-14T05:29:19Z

More stupid quizzes ^^

What type of Fae are you?

You Are 8% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm.
Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

Questions with answers!

2006-07-11T21:27:01Z

Questions and my answers ^^ :

Have you ever been searched by the cops?
No...

Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
No.

When’s the last time you’ve been sledding?
Never been.

Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
I always sleep alone.

Do you believe in ghosts?
Not really.

Do you consider yourself creative?
I suppose.

Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Hell yes.

Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Who cares?

Do you stay friends with your ex’s?
Don’t have any to speak of.

Do you know how to play poker?
Yes...

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Yes. I am insomniac, you know.

What’s your favorite commercial?
Ugh, commercials suck.

What are you allergic to?
Certain types of band-aids and mustard.

If you’re driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?
That implies the person in question has a licence, and I don’t.

Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
I seriously doubt it.

Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
I’m a Blue Jays fan, so naturally I hate both teams for spending inane amounts of money and basically making it near impossible for anyone else in that division to compete at all.

Have you ever been Ice Skating?
I’m Canadian, so that’s a very stupid question.

How often do you remember your dreams?
Every once in a while.

When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?
I always seem to get the hiccups before I laugh that much.

Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
Hello, She’s Leaving Home, Oh! Darling, Love Me Do, All You Need Is Love.

What’s the one thing on your mind now?
Not much. Not really thinking right now.

Do you know who Ghetto-ass barbie is?
Uh, no.

Do you always wear your seat belt?
Yes.

What mobile service do you use?
I don’t like to use the phone.

Do you like Sushi?
Never tried it.

Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
Nope.

What do you wear to bed?
Uh, very little? It’s bloody hot as it is...

Been caught stealing?
Unfortunately, yes. I was 5 and didn’t know what stealing WAS at the time...

What shoe size do you have?
Men’s 12.

Do you truly hate anyone?
I don’t think so.

Classic Rock or Rap?
Raps sucks, and Classic Rock is awesome.

If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
I’m not interested in sleeping with anyone.

Favorite Song?
Probably Strange Magic, by the Electric Light Orchestra.

Have you ever sang in front of the mirror?
Actually, yes.

What food do you find disgusting?
Anything with mustard or onions on it.

Do you sing in the shower?
Sometimes.

Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
No...

Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
I don’t stand up for MYSELF, so standing up for other people is out.

Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes... I’ve also had my head banged off a brick wall repeatedly...

Horrible Memories...

2006-03-25T11:13:40Z

I have such horrible memories of my past. People calling me vile names and beating me physically because I learned quickly and they didn't. People I trusted telling me I was a waste of life and would never amount to anything.

Adults, teachers no less, telling my parents that they'd wrecked my life because they'd taught me before I got to school, teachers saying that teaching was best left to the professionals, being told I would only end up in prison because I was unable to handle living in the real world...

Once, a teacher yanked a novel out of my hand while I was reading and asked me why I wasn't over reading the children's books like everybody else. They used to treat me like I was completely stupid simply because I was young and because my file said I wasn't intelligent.

They told me then that I had learning problems, when my only problem according to my reports was that I didn't colour in the lines. The teachers wanted to convince everybody that I was learning disabled, even though it was obvious that I wasn't...

I hate them all so much... I have terrible dreams at night about that time in my life...

I'm such a terrible friend...

2006-03-05T23:08:23Z

I am such a terrible person, I left my friend to the wolves because I didn't know what to do. I don't deserve to have any more friends, or be around people, because I can only hurt.

I haven't done any real RPG writing since then, and I dunno if I ever will again... it hurts too much now ;-;

Why do I always feel this way?

2005-12-11T03:06:17Z

It always hurts. My chest... it just seems to throb with pain, all the time. Why am I such a bad person? Why do I have to feel this way all the time?

I must be a horrible person to always feel like I'm going to cry... I don't even know what I'm going to cry about! My chest feels like exploding, and I don't know why or how... it just does ;-;

New Project: Program Icons!

2005-08-20T04:22:06Z

I've decided to try making a set of icons for my computer bar, since I'm entirely sick and tired of having icons that don't match at the top of my computer. As a result, I'm looking for suggestions as to what I might do. Here's what I've got so far:

System Commands: Show Desktop; My Computer; My Documents; Control Panel; Recycle Bin; Task Manager; Run
Audio & Video Programs: Ahead Nero; DivX Player; MusicMatch Jukebox; Quicktime; Real Player; Winamp; Windows Media Player
Games (note that this I'm hoping to be a short list): Command & Conquer; Windows Default Games (Solitaire, etc.); Princess Maker; Quest; Star Wars; Unreal Tournament
Emulators: Dosbox; ePSXe; KEGA; NNNesterJ; Project 64; Visual Boy Advance; ZSNES
Game Editors: RPG Maker 2000; RPG Maker 2003; RPG Maker XP
Programming & Scripting: Dev-C++; Notepad/Wordpad; Perl; Python; PHP
Browsers: IE4-6; Mozilla; Firefox; Netscape 4.8; Netscape 6-8; Opera 7.5, 8; Amaya; Lynx; America Online
Email Programs: Outlook Express; Thunderbird; Eudora; Netscape Mail; Pegasus Mail; Opera Mail
Instant Messenging: AIM; Gaim; mIRC; MSN Messenger; Trillian; Yahoo!
Servers & Downloaders: Apache; CuteFTP; Download Accelerator; KaZaA; MySQL Query Browser; Shareaza; Windows MySQL Administrator
Adobe Creative Suite: Adobe Photoshop 5-7; Adobe Photoshop CS/CS2; Adobe Illustrator 6-10; Adobe Illustrator CS/CS2; Adobe Imageready; Adobe Acrobat Reader
Macromedia Studio MX: Macromedia Dreamweaver; Macromedia Fireworks; Macromedia Flash; Macromedia Freehand; Macromedia JRun
Mozilla Suite: Firefox (mentioned already); Sunbird; Thunderbird (mentioned already)
Open Office: OO Base; OO Calc; OO Draw; OO Impress; OO Math; OO Writer
Microsoft Office: Microsoft Word; Microsoft Excel; Microsoft Powerpoint; Microsoft Access; Microsoft Outlook; Microsoft Frontpage
Object Desktop: Bootskin; CursorXP; DesktopX; IconDeveloper; IconPackager; IconX; Keyboard Launchpad; ObjectBar; ObjectDock; RightClick; SkinStudio; Stardock Central; WindowBlinds; WindowsFX
Utilities: Campaign Cartographer; Cygwin; Dia; Fractal Terrains; iTouch; Microangelo Icon Studio; Norton Antivirus; PartitionMagic; Powerarchiver; ResHack; SecureIM; Spybot Search & Destroy
Others: Google Desktop Search; Shortcuts; Clock

There's my current list. I posted it for a number of reasons...

First of all, I'm not sure if that's a logical way of grouping the programs. If anyone has any other ideas for grouping them, please post them here.

If the grouping is good, I need symbols to represent the groups. For example, I want all Audio Programs to contain the Audio symbol, and so on. I haven't decided how to do this yet, but it's something I plan on doing.

If you have any programs you'd like to see, but aren't in this list, PLEASE post them here.; I'll dynamically update this list over time. Just, please don't overwhelm me with requests for the Games section...I could spend a hundred years on that section and never finish it!

Thank you for your time ^^

Selly Needs Writing Help...

2005-07-17T01:10:48Z

Okay, complete honesty here: I can't write very good stories by myself. I can do some ideas, but it usually isn't long before I get stuck. I really, really need some help from someone who might be willing to help me out with ideas when I get stuck (someone to brainstorm with, basically). Otherwise, there probably won't be a game, as I won't have enough good ideas to do a whole game (just enough to start 5 of them)...

The Root Of My Problems

2005-07-09T22:37:44Z

Yeah, I figured I may as well write about why I feel so sad all the time, since people are always yelling at me about it ;-;

When I was younger, I, like everyone else, had to go to school. Unfortunately, my school experience was one of the worst you could ever imagine. The students pretty much all hated me; I was pretty smart, and I knew a lot (I could add and subtract, and read long before I went to school), and they were jealous. As a result, they all treated me like dirt. The teachers hated that I knew all the stuff they were teaching (they actually called my parents in and called them idiots for teaching me how to read and do math before I got to school!), and they didn't like that I wasn't much of a conformist. I had my own ways of doing things, and I felt they could all kiss my @$$, if you get the message. However, the worst was the principal.

My first principal was a nutcase with a capital N, a guy that was obviously a holdover from the old ways of teaching. He used to beat students with a leather strap if they didn't do everything exactly as he wanted, and he would pick out choice students from each grade level to target. I was his target from my grade level. For example, I got sent to the office and yelled at when I was 7 because I was sucking on my shirt collar, and that was inappropriate behaviour according to him. He threatened to strap me a few times when I was sent to the office, most of the time for trivial, pointless things like not waiting my turn to talk or for DEFENDING MYSELF from attacks.

When I was in grade 1, they started talking about having a class for gifted students. The principal picked out whatever students he wanted, and intentionally jumped over me despite my really high average (which was brought down by the teachers on the grounds of disciplinary problems; ie. I wouldn't conform to the perfect student mold). When my parents went in to talk to the principal about this, his comment was that I didn't belong in a gifted program; I belonged in prison. I would be a complete failure at life, and trying to help me was a waste of time.

Even after I got out of there, the principal's lies about my conduct went on my permanent record (which I read when I turned 16, because I had the right to). So even after I got away from him, I continued to have to fight the teachers who saw troublemaker on my record and assumed that I was an idiot who was determined to prevent the other students from learning.

When I was in grade 8, I had a math average of 100% (yes, PERFECT). The school went out of their way to figure out a way to not give me the math award despite that. The only institution that was interested in that mark was the high school, who were looking for gifted students at that time and saw my potential. It wasn't until I got to high school that things started to change, as the teachers started to treat me like an intelligent person rather than a troublemaker, and I was really popular with the faculty there. High school was the only time I ever really had fun at school, and I was really sad when I graduated. But by that time, I was so sad about my life that I ended up entering the darkest depression I'd ever been in, one I actually started in when I was younger, but didn't really immerse into it until then.

That was also the first year I got on the Internet, and started to write and do web design for the first time. I got screwed by a few people on the Internet in exactly the same way as I did in real life, and by that point I didn't trust people anymore. I still don't; I have yet to see somebody do anything that might break my beliefs that people are fundamentally only interested in themselves. I hate myself primarily because I know this attitude is the wrong one, but any other just leads to pain. Pain bothers me, and I don't want to suffer anymore.

Story Info Update

2005-07-08T05:15:23Z

Yeah, an update to my game stuff.

Click here for info

Also, MSF design stuff (since I haven't posted anything here on it for a while...)

News Page
Introduction Page
Author List
Captions List

I'm also working on the Calendar Page. I just...dunno if it'll work out, because I'm just not very good at it ;-;

Some Icons...

2005-06-22T05:55:33Z

Icons I made for my program menu...though I guess they're not very good at all. But that's normal for stuff made by me.

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/19725758/

I'm so worthless I can't even figure out how to do the icons for my desktop theme...

Bought "The Four Agreements" Today

2005-06-16T21:13:06Z

I dunno, maybe it'll help. I don't feel the empty feeling in my chest anymore, and I feel like crying to myself, but I don't feel angry or hate for once, either. Just...it's like a burning feeling in my chest. I dunno...

I did feel a little better earlier, though.

Updated Game Story Outline, Plus Rydia Wallpaper ^^

2005-06-16T02:18:49Z

Updated that outline for the story, and I also did a new wallpaper (part of the Rydia desktop theme I'm going to design).

Updated Outline
Rydia Wallpaper (note that the pics of Rydia and her mother were NOT drawn by me, and I do not claim them as mine).

Still, though, I wish I didn't suck so much...I hardly ever do anything right, and if I do, it's by accident. I'm just a worthless loser ;-;

Starting to write a basic story outline...

2005-06-13T23:13:36Z

Well, I'm trying (key word: trying) to write a general story outline for the game. However, I seem to be stuck, 'cause I can't think of any ideas ;-;

Click here for current state of outline

I'm sorry...

2005-06-09T03:39:11Z

I HAVE to post this one. Apologies in advance to those who's names have shown up in this quiz ^^

If LiveJournal were an anime...
LiveJournal Username
Do you watch anime?
Do you speak Japanese?
Do you read Japanese?
What if LiveJournal were an anime?
Pick a Beach Boys song.

The performer of the opening theme	alyta_anieri
The magical girl	henshin_mirva
The talking animal	jaimehlers
The lecherous old man	adam_of_helel
The teenager who uses ancient magic to win games	johbeckemi
The fifteen-year-old Japanese girl with blond hair and a D cup	musaluc
Number of seasons it would last	18,155


This Fun Quiz created by Elizabeth at BlogQuiz.Net

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