![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
- Mood:
depressed - Music:Nobuo Uematsu - Dear Friends
92 | |
1 | |
56 | |
77 | |
34 |
Find your soulmate / pysch twin Uggs, MySpace Surveys and MySpace Layouts by Pulseware Survey Software |
I dunno why I decided to take it, but ah well. Man, the HTML in that entry is screwed @-@
technorati tags:personality, quizzes
- Mood: depressed
- Music:Rod Stewart - Tonight's the Night
Yeah, once again I’m going to try and revive this stupid journal. I’d bet on it not working out, AGAIN, but whatever. It’s worth a try.
I haven’t worked on anything for months, but the good news is that NaNoWriMo is coming up, and it looks like my parents are going to buy me a laptop to work on school stuff. If so, I might be able to do better at it than I did last year. I hope not to quit out of the blue again...
technorati tags: laptop, livejournal, nanowrimo, personal
- Mood:
pessimistic - Music:Elton John - The Captain and the Kid
Today I had to go and take a stress test, because I tend to have chest pains when I overexert myself, and my doctor wanted to make sure it was nothing. After running on the treadmill for a while, and getting my heart rate up, they told me the data was normal for a 23-year-old. So my heart is in good shape ^^
Not much else to report today, actually. Looking at some of the new RPG Maker resources makes me want to try designing again, but at the same time I still seem to be afraid of the last time I tried...
technorati tags:physical, health, exercise, doctor, rm2k, rpg making, resources, writing, storyline
Blogged with Flock
Why must I dream about the people who hurt me every night? Why do I always feel like crying to sleep because my heart hurts so much? Why must I continuously suffer the pain of the first 20 years of my life, over and over again?
I just want it to go away... I want to be able to do thins when I want, not when the pain lightens and I feel inspired...
technorati tags:depression, anger, pain, sadness, regrets, school, jerks, morons
Blogged with Flock
Well, today has sucked rather badly. I wanted to make my younger brother a set of CD's, but my printer doesn't have any ink left to print out the labels. So I had to use my mother's computer with that hellspawned Windows XP on it...
I had to print 10 or so times before I finally got stuff aligned (I ended up having to do the alignment manually because the so-called official alignment was actually not aligned!)... and now I'm waiting to be able to print the last of the CD-related stuff because the jewel case inserts were also not aligned properly, sticking me with the duty of fixing that as well! And when I tried to get the software for doing jewel case inserts to install, Windows crashed every time! Arrrrghh >-<
technorati tags:windows, explorer, microsoft, cd, music, albums, jewel, cases, annoyances, frustration
Blogged with Flock
Well, I feel sad and lonely (which is normal), but I have had some new storyline ideas. Odds are these'll end up in the same place as the other ones (in the junk pile)...
For some odd reason, Flock has issues with my home folder. Strange...
I sit here and wonder why I keep trying at things; after all, nothing ever seems to work out. Why keep going?
Well, TTFN...
technorati tags:depression, sadness, flock, internet, rpg making, rm2k, rm2k3, rmxp, writing, storyline, personal
Blogged with Flock
Okay, first of all, since I've been asked about it so many times, you can read about the Flock browser here: http://www.flock.com/.
In other news, I'm currently looking for icons that fit well with the default KDE icon theme, Crystal. Basically, any icon that can be considered crystal will work here. If anyone knows of good sites for that kind of thing, could you possibly throw me a link?
Oh, and if you like to read webcomics, I suggest checking out Slightly Damned. I've been enjoying it quite a bit since I started reading it last week ^^
Anyway, TTFN ^^
technorati tags:flock, webcomics, slightly damned, icons, kde, crystal, internet
Blogged with Flock
Hey, guys! I've decided to try out using Flock in place of Firefox, to get at Flock's improved blogging, bookmarking and image-saving features! If anyone's interested, I can post my opinions as I use it (since I tend to be good at giving opinions on browsers). True, there are some Firefox extensions Flock can't use that I'll miss (goodbye, Menu Editor ;-;), but you never know until you try ^^
Also in the category of new things, I've decided to attach my Top 10 playlist from Last.fm to every entry I make in my LiveJournal. Note that the list will be updated as I play different songs. I imagine you can also see the new design I picked for my LJ, and the links section on the side, which links to some of my favourite Internet sites ^^
In other news, I'm trying to think of a good desktop theme for my computer. I'm getting somewhat tired of my Fedora theme, and I'd like to try and find an interesting theme to use instead. Anyone have any suggestions?
Well, TTFN ^^
Blogged with Flock
- Music:Kenji Ito - A Blue Town
- Music:R. Kelly - I Believe I Can Fly
I have such horrible memories of my past. People calling me vile names and beating me physically because I learned quickly and they didn't. People I trusted telling me I was a waste of life and would never amount to anything.Adults, teachers no less, telling my parents that they'd wrecked my life because they'd taught me before I got to school, teachers saying that teaching was best left to the professionals, being told I would only end up in prison because I was unable to handle living in the real world...
Once, a teacher yanked a novel out of my hand while I was reading and asked me why I wasn't over reading the children's books like everybody else. They used to treat me like I was completely stupid simply because I was young and because my file said I wasn't intelligent.
They told me then that I had learning problems, when my only problem according to my reports was that I didn't colour in the lines. The teachers wanted to convince everybody that I was learning disabled, even though it was obvious that I wasn't...
I hate them all so much... I have terrible dreams at night about that time in my life...
- Mood:
sick - Music:Foreigner - Feels Like the First Time
I am such a terrible person, I left my friend to the wolves because I didn't know what to do. I don't deserve to have any more friends, or be around people, because I can only hurt.
I haven't done any real RPG writing since then, and I dunno if I ever will again... it hurts too much now ;-;
- Mood: depressed
- Music:Bobby Darin - Dream Lover
It always hurts. My chest... it just seems to throb with pain, all the time. Why am I such a bad person? Why do I have to feel this way all the time?
I must be a horrible person to always feel like I'm going to cry... I don't even know what I'm going to cry about! My chest feels like exploding, and I don't know why or how... it just does ;-;
- Mood: depressed
I've decided to try making a set of icons for my computer bar, since I'm entirely sick and tired of having icons that don't match at the top of my computer. As a result, I'm looking for suggestions as to what I might do. Here's what I've got so far:
( See list here! )
Thank you for your time ^^
- Mood:
determined - Music:Eagles - Already Gone
Okay, complete honesty here: I can't write very good stories by myself. I can do some ideas, but it usually isn't long before I get stuck. I really, really need some help from someone who might be willing to help me out with ideas when I get stuck (someone to brainstorm with, basically). Otherwise, there probably won't be a game, as I won't have enough good ideas to do a whole game (just enough to start 5 of them)...
- Mood:
moody - Music:Eagles - Wasted Time
Yeah, I figured I may as well write about why I feel so sad all the time, since people are always yelling at me about it ;-;
When I was younger, I, like everyone else, had to go to school. Unfortunately, my school experience was one of the worst you could ever imagine. The students pretty much all hated me; I was pretty smart, and I knew a lot (I could add and subtract, and read long before I went to school), and they were jealous. As a result, they all treated me like dirt. The teachers hated that I knew all the stuff they were teaching (they actually called my parents in and called them idiots for teaching me how to read and do math before I got to school!), and they didn't like that I wasn't much of a conformist. I had my own ways of doing things, and I felt they could all kiss my @$$, if you get the message. However, the worst was the principal.
My first principal was a nutcase with a capital N, a guy that was obviously a holdover from the old ways of teaching. He used to beat students with a leather strap if they didn't do everything exactly as he wanted, and he would pick out choice students from each grade level to target. I was his target from my grade level. For example, I got sent to the office and yelled at when I was 7 because I was sucking on my shirt collar, and that was
inappropriate behaviouraccording to him. He threatened to strap me a few times when I was sent to the office, most of the time for trivial, pointless things like not waiting my turn to talk or for DEFENDING MYSELF from attacks.
When I was in grade 1, they started talking about having a class for gifted students. The principal picked out whatever students he wanted, and intentionally jumped over me despite my really high average (which was brought down by the teachers on the grounds of
disciplinary problems; ie. I wouldn't conform to the
perfect studentmold). When my parents went in to talk to the principal about this, his comment was that I didn't belong in a gifted program; I belonged in prison. I would be a complete failure at life, and trying to help me was a waste of time.
Even after I got out of there, the principal's lies about my conduct went on my
permanent record(which I read when I turned 16, because I had the right to). So even after I got away from him, I continued to have to fight the teachers who saw
troublemakeron my record and assumed that I was an idiot who was determined to prevent the other students from learning.
When I was in grade 8, I had a math average of 100% (yes, PERFECT). The school went out of their way to figure out a way to not give me the math award despite that. The only institution that was interested in that mark was the high school, who were looking for gifted students at that time and saw my potential. It wasn't until I got to high school that things started to change, as the teachers started to treat me like an intelligent person rather than a troublemaker, and I was really popular with the faculty there. High school was the only time I ever really had fun at school, and I was really sad when I graduated. But by that time, I was so sad about my life that I ended up entering the darkest depression I'd ever been in, one I actually started in when I was younger, but didn't really immerse into it until then.
That was also the first year I got on the Internet, and started to write and do web design for the first time. I got screwed by a few people on the Internet in exactly the same way as I did in real life, and by that point I didn't trust people anymore. I still don't; I have yet to see somebody do anything that might break my beliefs that people are fundamentally only interested in themselves. I hate myself primarily because I know this attitude is the wrong one, but any other just leads to pain. Pain bothers me, and I don't want to suffer anymore.
- Mood:
nostalgic - Music:Eagles - Love Will Keep Us Alive
Yeah, an update to my game stuff.
Click here for info
Also, MSF design stuff (since I haven't posted anything here on it for a while...)
News Page
Introduction Page
Author List
Captions List
I'm also working on the Calendar Page. I just...dunno if it'll work out, because I'm just not very good at it ;-;
- Mood: depressed
- Music:Eagles - Hole In The World
